"I am willing to be willing..."

In transcending the levels of consciousness, the importance of the human 'will' is emphasized because it is the most critical of all functions in spiritual work.... [It] is the invitation to Divine intervention" – Dr. David R. Hawkins (Transcending the Levels of Consciousness: The Stairway to Enlightenment, xiv)

Choice. If life is about nothing else, it is about choice. It is the one thing that saturates every moment of our conscious lives. Choice reveals itself in moments ranging from mundane decisions like whether to brush our teeth before or after breakfast to profound, life-or-death moments like whether a person asks for help in the pits of depression or succumbs to despair and suicide.

We choose whether to take responsibility for our mistakes, pass the blame, or just outright lie.

We choose whether we cling to old resentments–– "they deserve it after all!"–– or let go of our attachment to seeing a person that way and be willing to see life through more forgiving eyes.

Do we gush to the little girl about how dazzling her sequin jacket is–– that it sparkles like a diamond in the sunlight!–– or do we keep our joy hidden?

The capacity for choice is a deeply human faculty. Whereas most animals are driven by instinct, we have the spiritual gift of freedom. Under any circumstance, we are free to choose. This is the essence of willpower.

Intention is the force that shapes the trajectory of our soul. And when we choose, even subconsciously, we birth an intent that manifests as thoughts, emotions, actions, and their effects. The will is the power by which intent comes into being.

So I ask again, how do we use our will?

In Kundalini Yoga, we talk about the third chakra as the seat of willpower. We emphasize how crucial it is to strengthen our will and apply it in our lives. But we also acknowledge the distinction between "my will" and "Thy Will"–– the will that comes from the ego, vs. the will that comes from the divine Self within.

To break this down simply: willingness is a divine gift innate to the power of the Self, whereas willfulness is of the ego in its attempt to maintain control over our perception of reality. The ego loves to say "But it should be this way!" That's willfulness.

In the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, most addicts are tremendously confronted by the first step: "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol". Now, I am not an alcoholic, but I have been deeply reflecting on this wisdom lately.

I have been contemplating what it means to admit powerlessness. And I say it means to summon forth the courage within oneself to be honest and speak the truth. It means to eschew the temptation of Pride that will delusionally attempt to stay in control and manage something that for the alcoholic has become truly unmanageable. To admit powerlessness, then, is actually a profound position of strength simply because the statement is true.

It's a remarkable paradox: To admit powerlessness over an addiction is actually strong whereas to double down on one's personal [ego] power is actually weak and will only lead to a deeper rock bottom.

Alcoholic or not, are not all of us addicted to the ego's claims of reality? Are not all of us, in some sense, victims of the dualities to which we ascribe reality–– and secretly enjoy!–– despite the suffering they propagate in us and in the world?

When this realization dawns, confronts us with a choice: To stay locked into a worldview that keeps us asleep and in pain, or to face the parts of ourselves that are unloving such that they might dissolve into Lovingness.

Now, if you are like me, then there are parts of self and life that we am not yet willing to love. It could be someone who really harmed us, or a decision we made that really harmed someone else. Whatever it is, there's just too much resistance right now to imagine it being any other way. But that is where the magic of this phrase comes in:

"I am willing to be willing."

When I heard this phrase (years ago at an A Course in Miracles retreat led by Jennifer Hadley) I felt like I had been given a golden key to the future my soul was yearning for. It was a tremendous relief! I don't have to be willing right now. I'm not somehow spiritually deficient because I'm not willing right now, and I am free from the self-imposed burden of not yet being ready. Instead, I can be willing to be willing.

How liberating it's been to say that I am willing to be willing–– to forgive, to let go, to have the courage to say "I'm sorry", or to do whatever else is required of me to live into the fullness of my innermost Truth. When I say (and really mean) "I am willing to be willing", I am summoning forth from within myself the Power, the divine willingness, that is able when I unto myself am not.

So when you ask for the willingness to be willing to live out your soul's deepest potential, know that you are calling on Divine Intervention to build a bridge between who you are now and your destiny–– and to give you the strength to cross it.

All you have to do is choose.